Let The Silence Do Some Of The Work For You

The most useful thing an interviewer does is often to say nothing at all for a few seconds longer than feels comfortable.

There is a reflex in ordinary conversation to fill a pause. Somebody stops speaking, we sense a gap, and we fill it with the next question or a small helpful noise. In a recorded interview that reflex is expensive. The pause after an answer is frequently the moment the speaker is deciding whether to say the larger thing behind it. If you wait, and keep your face open, the larger thing often arrives. If you jump in, it does not, and it may not come round again in that session or any other.

Practise counting slowly to three or four after somebody appears to finish. It feels absurdly long from the inside and is barely noticeable from the outside. Resist the urge to agree, to sympathise loudly, or to offer your own comparable story, however warmly it is meant, because it moves the spotlight. Small neutral encouragements are enough. A nod, a quiet yes, a repeat of the last few words as a question. Then wait again. If nothing comes after two attempts, move on gently, because a pause you honour is one the speaker will fill later in their own time.

Silence also matters when the material turns difficult, as at some point it will. Families carry losses, estrangements, migrations that were not chosen and years that were hard. If somebody stops, let them stop, and make it plain that they can leave anything out and that you will turn the recording off whenever they want. Take the offer seriously rather than as a formality. An interview where the speaker felt in control is an interview they will agree to continue on another day, and continuing is almost always better than pressing.